
Deep in my files I have a folder containing a hard copy of every performance review I’ve had. I open this folder from time to time just to take a peak at how far I’ve come in certain ways and just how far I have to go in others.
Some might call this practice cruel and inhuman. Who cares about your previous critiques or accomplishments if, as my friend Leslie says, you’re only as good as your last project?
Still though, it’s an interesting look back at the themes that tend to permeate your working life and a reflection on the journey to world domination….or whatever personal direction you might be headed.
For instance, a comment I see over and over again is that I tend to take on a lot more work than I can handle. This, in and of itself is not a bad thing. In fact, these comments usually say more about my relationship with that boss more than anything else.
For instance, the bosses that I generally got along with usually characterized this particular aspect of my personality as a good way to power through the workload. In the one case where my boss and I didn’t really get along, they characterized it in a less-flattering way. In fact, I think the word he used, off-the-record of course, was “asshole.”
My issues with this particular boss aside, I realized that the terminology fits in an odd way. Think about it; we all have those moments when our work situation causes us to pull inside of ourselves and forget there are other people around us. We all, at one point in time or another, become assholes or at least in the eyes of those around us
It’s not a permanent thing and many times, we don’t even know it’s happening. We just simply become aware only of our own needs and that’s how we manage the stress.
The thing to remember about becoming an asshole is that we have to become tolerant of both ourselves and others – both when we, ourselves are acting assholes and also when we see others acting like assholes. After all everyone has bad days – even assholes.
Think of it in terms of karma. It’s a given that not every day will be your best day. It’s also a given that every day will not always be the best day for your co-workers, either. The more you can try to understand and tolerate others when they slip into that mode, the better chance you will have of being tolerated when the occasion comes around that you fall, unknowingly, into “asshole-dom.”
Let me make one thing clear; I am not advocating that being a full-time asshole is a good thing. In fact if those performance reviews tell me anything, it’s that you can’t be a good boss or a good teammate if, at your very core, you’re an asshole.
What I am saying is that it’s time for us to understand that business and progress are full-contact sports. In a global marketplace with competition for every dollar; those who are focused on the politics of appeasement are leaving valuable opportunities on the table. For the sake of taking risks and pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zone we owe each other tolerance.
Next time you feel like one of your co-workers is being an asshole, try to understand why. When you feel yourself becoming an asshole, do the same thing. Understand that a certain amount of creative tension is a good thing and that being human means that this tension is a double-edged sword.
Possibly more importantly, when you emerge from the state of being an asshole cultivate forgiveness from both others and yourself. Just remember that understanding breeds tolerance and those moments when you can be focused on relationships should be dedicated to advancing understanding of both yourself and others.
One thing is for certain, though I see the moments of imperfection reflected in those reviews I also see moments of progress and accomplishment to accompany every one of them. This is, in the end, is the best we can hope for.
Photo Courtesy of MindLuge